I'll Do The Shopping Today . . .

. . . You Just Rest Lady B

You probably don't know that Lady B is the BEST one who does most of the shopping in this place, that she loves to paint walls and houses and that she talks a lot about common sense . I often fail to listen about that common sense stuff.

Take today for instance - I wish you had really. You see, I think I lost all sense of common sense this afternoon. Make that - I know I did.

It went like this. Lady B has been working a little too hard at several jobs, particularly the last few days on albuming hordes of family pictures, tediously bending over a table writing identifications on the back side.

All that bending evidently put a strain, a bad one, on her shoulders and upper back. For three days and nights she and I have been placing a couple of hot packs on her back, bags of hot Indian corn, a remedy made and sent to us by niece Jo Ann, and they work.

However, the heat (renewed every few hours in the microwave) hasn't done a complete healing job yet and it just happened this is the time when Lady B felt it was shopping day.

I helped Lady B compose a grocery list - milk, eggs, bread, butter, orange juice, suger, coffee and a few other things she planned to purchase. But then Lady B found she couldn't get up from the table, let alone drive her new car.

"It'll have to wait until tomorrow, I guess," said Lady B, whereupon, losing my common sense, I volunteered to do the shopping. What a boo-boo!

With that fairly short list, Lady B would hit the grocery store running, get the stuff on the list basketed, checked out, and be back home in maybe a half hour. So I figured I could do the same.

In our favorite grocery store it did not take me long to find the things on the list - until I accidently turned the list over and found another dozen things Lady B. had scrawled when I was not looking.

I commenced then to scan the real small print on packages of meat, seeking just what she wanted, chicken thighs, beef liver, pork loin roast. That done I got into the canned goods section. Now the problems began.

I leaned close to the shelves looking for a half dozen varied canned goods, without seeing what I wanted although I knew I was in the right aisle.

At that moment one of the BEST helpers in the store, a woman with long black hair, sporting a badge saying Christina, approached and asked "Sir, are you blind? Do you need help?"

"No, I'm not blind yet, just can't see the small print and labels." Taking my list, she quickly picked out the rest of the stuff I needed then left tossing"Happy New Year" over her shoulder.

About now I noticed on my cell phone that the time was passing rapidly. Lady B's half hour had - will you believe this? - gone to nearly two hours!

At the checkout, I watched the computer screen listing what I had accumulated and as the costs began to seem astronomical. When the total of $150.71 came up, that's just what it was to me.

Got home, unloaded and remarked to Lady B on the cost. Casting a funny look at me, Lady B came up with the BEST retort I've ever heard - "That's all?"

Hope Lady B will be better by the next shopping day - I don't like
spendng so much time in the grocery store or that much money either.

Oh, yes, the other BEST thing besides Christina's help - no long line at the checkout - I was first.

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