i . . . Provide Smiles !
Without doubt you have at some time seen a news story headline that provoked your imagination because the headline was plain crazy, zany, and funny.
As an editor of newspapers in five states in my lifetime, I have hobbied from time to time, thinking of stories to go with crazy headlines. I confess I have probably authored a few eye-catching headlines.
The Internet often displays headlines submitted by readers like
you and me that show up to the public how funny our editors can be.
Tonight's blog will be devoted to some of the BEST of a collection of zany headlines provided in an amateur press group journal, published by popular retired dentist, Doctor Screamdrill. Let's browse and comment on them.
ANTIQUE STRIPPER TO DISPLAY WARES AT STORE
[Her finances must be in a dire situation]
LOCAL HIGH SCHOOL DROPOUTS CUT IN HALF
POLICE BEGIN CAMPAIGN TO RUN DOWN JAYWALKERS
[Pretty drastic measure]
BLIND WOMAN GETS NEW KIDNEY FROM DAD SHE HADN'T SEEN IN YEARS
[That must be a powerful new kidney]
KILLER SENTENCED TO DIE SECOND TIME IN TEN YEARS
[Cat burglar with nine lives ?]
CROOKS ATTEND JEWELRY CONVENTION
[Oh oh - call security]
(Editor's note - This is a headline I wrote about two jewelry store owners I knew, Mr. and Mrs. Crooks, who attended the convention in Albuquerque)
TYPHOON RIPS THROUGH CEMETERY, HUNDREDS DEAD
[I believe it]
IF STRIKE IS NOT SETTLED TODAY, STRIKE MAY LAST A WHILE
COAL MINERS REFUSE TO WORK AFTER DEATH
[How about that?]
POLICE FIND DECAPITATED BODY DEAD, SUSPECT HOMICIDE
[A good guess, detective]
RED TAPE HOLDS UP NEW BRIDGES
[Idea: Find alternate routes]
(Note to RVers, especially Chris and Geezerguy - before moving motorhome onto bridge, INSPECT!)
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